BTS Portfolio Building Shoot with @elitexl

Here is the behind the scenes video of my recent shoot with the homie Dwight of @Elitexl! Video was shot/edited by Jolver Cutino @JolverCutino. Makeup was done by Genevie Jacomino @sizafingaz. More pic edits coming soon !

J'Adore Magazine Shoot

Taniesh Leslie, Publisher of J'Adore Magazine is featuring ME in the June fashion issue! Super excited about this because I've been waiting for the opportunity to grace the pages of her mag for a couple years! I initially met Taniesh in Atlanta back in 2008. Had the opportunity to work with her and her team last year here in Miami. They came down to do a project for their client and I was booked as the model. Had an amazing day with them and finally got to work with amazing photographer Maicol Diaz (@uniquephoto23).

I recently made the decision to begin transitioning into a more mainstream market and began shooting along the lines of the work I was looking to book. Ellements.com gave me the chance to feature my work with them, both PRINT and ONLINE! The pictures from that shoot are what caught the eye of Taniesh. She has witnessed my growth and decided it was time for me to shoot for J'Adore. She was so impressed with the Ellements shoot that she requested the same team be used for the J'Adore fashion shoot. So thats what this video is.

Shout out the the amazing team:

Photographer: Orin @Orinary
Hair and makeup artist: Genevie Jacomino @sizafingaz
Wardrobe stylist: Ana Escalante @anaescalante
Creative Director: Chris Royster @intellectatl
Videographer: Daniel Rodriguez @adbcmedia

Fuck Drugs.

Laying in bed feeling a little homesick. Having one of those moments where I just want to go back to the carefree days. The days before the drugs destroyed my family. Sometimes I want my innocence back. Wish I could erase any existing knowledge about this corrupt world and these corrupt people. Wisdom is bleak. That's for damn sure. Everything I'm not,everything I've been through, witnessed, been exposed to.. it all made me who I am..but, who am I? I am alone. Because it all made me like that. The memories of the good days are blurry. The feelings are there. Certain times are clear, but that shit is a blur. Where did they go? I get so mad sometimes. Mad at them. Mad at myself. They left me out here alone. Thank god I'm strong. Or am I? My shell is strong. My insides are anything but. Don't do drugs boys and girls. Don't sell them either. I just want my family back.

Conforming & shit

Random thoughts in my chaotic minds.

Lately I wonder if conforming to my surroundings, today's societal/social ideologies and the industry's type of relationship would be settling for less or changing for the better..? They say change is good. How good is it? Would it benefit me or take away from me? Would it build me or break me? I'm not looking for anything at this moment, at least I don't think I am, but the fact that almost nothing with (mutual)value comes my way is somewhat alarming. Will it ever? Do I need to change my standards? Changing standards doesn't necessarily mean LOWERING them.. does it?

I'm surrounded by --> No strings attached. What you don't know won't hurt you. Open this. Swinging that. 3 somes. Sharing is caring in the world I'm living in.

Sometimes it seems like this place would be an easier, less problematic world if we just enjoyed the very moment..Those shared together.. and didn't worry about the rest. Outta sight outta mind, right? Sounds easy. Not quite. In a perfect world instead of waiting on Christa's perfect man and Christa's perfect situation, I'd be a chameleon and be able to adapt to any and everything! I'd have control of my emotions. Wonder how happy I'd be then. (I mean, If my emotions were controlled how genuine would they even be? Can you shut out the bad without altering the good?) Think that vision is just a means of protection. Protection from the reality. A cover up. A substitution. An easy way out. I'll never be able to control my emotions enough to remain truly happy and free of insanity... & if/when I DO/CAN do that, I worry.

Big heart. Bad Kid.

Written several days ago. Just now posting.

Do you remember that one teacher/mentor/family friend/stranger who took the time to talk to you/put you in check/correct you/lecture you/yell at you? I think everyone has that moment. No matter how rebellious/cool you thought you were, there is SOMETHING that someone did or said that you remember to this day, and it changed your life.

Today at work something happened that really bothered me. I've been told I'm too nice too caring too soft etc my whole life so naturally I tried to help the situation, but I wasn't much help. A young kid walking by my job with a few friends grabbed one of the hostesses ass. She told the closest security guard. The group of guys were walking away and mixed in a crowd of people so the security flashed his light across the street at a group of officers. The hostess walked to catch up with the guys and pointed out which one it was. The police grabbed him, walked him across the street to where their cars were and eventually handcuffed him. I was confused. I asked "wait, he's going to jail?" I was told yes. I know how violating it can feel to have someone grab your ass and I completely agree that he is wrong, but JAIL ? I don't know if I feel so strongly about this because half of my family is incarcerated... or maybe because he's young kid (prob 19-22).. or it could very well be because I'm too nice, but either way I got really upset. I feel security should have stopped the kid, took him to the back, roughed him up a little bit, scared him, let the hostess get a good hit in (and in Christa's perfect world, security would TALK to him) then let him go about his day. Sometimes people need to be called on on their shit. Embarrassed. Questioned. Screamed at. They need to sweat.. have some fear evoked upon them.

I've always been able to think long term about certain things. I don't know how much damage a "grabbing a girls ass" (for lack of official terminology) charge can cause, but it only takes ONE mistake, one charge to mess up a lifetime. Jail could possibly teach this kid a lesson.. It would be a consequence to his action.. but Jail is so... expected. Can you call that a solution? True, every action has a reaction. Had they acted out my vision, it could have turned into an even worse siuation.. so Im not saying my solution is the greatest either.. I don't really even know what I'm saying. I just wish more people tried to genuinely HELP a situation, HELP solve problems, HELP fix whats wrong in this world. This kid most likely wasn't raised the best and clearly needs HELP. To me Jail isn't that answer. I just hope the kid DID learn his lesson.

A best friends love..

People say I am horrible at keeping in touch. I agree, but I never lose or replace a real friends place in my heart. My longest best friend, Kristie, whom I met at summer camp when we were 5 years old wrote this message on my fb wall this morning.

"I know you're a busy star and everything these days but I do recall a promise that was made in like 5th grade on the swing set out back that we would always be best friends! Nooo matter what! So you need to start answering my phone calls before I drive up to MIA and beat that little fuzzy head of yours :) thanks :) love you bestfriend! And... CALL ME"

So cute. Made my day and kind of made me open my eyes. I need to start making time for those close to me. With almost 20 years of friendship, that small paragraph has more inside jokes and meaning than the outsiders could ever understand!

Mayonnaise Jar

I saw this on Actorsinfobooth.com and thought I should share. Enjoy!

Your Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle,
When 24 hours in a day is not enough;
remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class
and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly,
he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
and start to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again
if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand
and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded
With an unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table
and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things - God, family,
children, health, friends, and favorite passions
Things that if everything else was lost
and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else --
The small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued,
'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are
important to you.

So...

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your spouse out to dinner.

There will always be time
to clean the house and fix the dripping tap.

'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand
and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.

'I'm glad you asked'.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'