Conforming & shit

Random thoughts in my chaotic minds.

Lately I wonder if conforming to my surroundings, today's societal/social ideologies and the industry's type of relationship would be settling for less or changing for the better..? They say change is good. How good is it? Would it benefit me or take away from me? Would it build me or break me? I'm not looking for anything at this moment, at least I don't think I am, but the fact that almost nothing with (mutual)value comes my way is somewhat alarming. Will it ever? Do I need to change my standards? Changing standards doesn't necessarily mean LOWERING them.. does it?

I'm surrounded by --> No strings attached. What you don't know won't hurt you. Open this. Swinging that. 3 somes. Sharing is caring in the world I'm living in.

Sometimes it seems like this place would be an easier, less problematic world if we just enjoyed the very moment..Those shared together.. and didn't worry about the rest. Outta sight outta mind, right? Sounds easy. Not quite. In a perfect world instead of waiting on Christa's perfect man and Christa's perfect situation, I'd be a chameleon and be able to adapt to any and everything! I'd have control of my emotions. Wonder how happy I'd be then. (I mean, If my emotions were controlled how genuine would they even be? Can you shut out the bad without altering the good?) Think that vision is just a means of protection. Protection from the reality. A cover up. A substitution. An easy way out. I'll never be able to control my emotions enough to remain truly happy and free of insanity... & if/when I DO/CAN do that, I worry.