Random thoughts in my chaotic minds.
Lately I wonder if conforming to my surroundings, today's societal/social ideologies and the industry's type of relationship would be settling for less or changing for the better..? They say change is good. How good is it? Would it benefit me or take away from me? Would it build me or break me? I'm not looking for anything at this moment, at least I don't think I am, but the fact that almost nothing with (mutual)value comes my way is somewhat alarming. Will it ever? Do I need to change my standards? Changing standards doesn't necessarily mean LOWERING them.. does it?
I'm surrounded by --> No strings attached. What you don't know won't hurt you. Open this. Swinging that. 3 somes. Sharing is caring in the world I'm living in.
Sometimes it seems like this place would be an easier, less problematic world if we just enjoyed the very moment..Those shared together.. and didn't worry about the rest. Outta sight outta mind, right? Sounds easy. Not quite. In a perfect world instead of waiting on Christa's perfect man and Christa's perfect situation, I'd be a chameleon and be able to adapt to any and everything! I'd have control of my emotions. Wonder how happy I'd be then. (I mean, If my emotions were controlled how genuine would they even be? Can you shut out the bad without altering the good?) Think that vision is just a means of protection. Protection from the reality. A cover up. A substitution. An easy way out. I'll never be able to control my emotions enough to remain truly happy and free of insanity... & if/when I DO/CAN do that, I worry.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Big heart. Bad Kid.
Written several days ago. Just now posting.
Do you remember that one teacher/mentor/family friend/stranger who took the time to talk to you/put you in check/correct you/lecture you/yell at you? I think everyone has that moment. No matter how rebellious/cool you thought you were, there is SOMETHING that someone did or said that you remember to this day, and it changed your life.
Today at work something happened that really bothered me. I've been told I'm too nice too caring too soft etc my whole life so naturally I tried to help the situation, but I wasn't much help. A young kid walking by my job with a few friends grabbed one of the hostesses ass. She told the closest security guard. The group of guys were walking away and mixed in a crowd of people so the security flashed his light across the street at a group of officers. The hostess walked to catch up with the guys and pointed out which one it was. The police grabbed him, walked him across the street to where their cars were and eventually handcuffed him. I was confused. I asked "wait, he's going to jail?" I was told yes. I know how violating it can feel to have someone grab your ass and I completely agree that he is wrong, but JAIL ? I don't know if I feel so strongly about this because half of my family is incarcerated... or maybe because he's young kid (prob 19-22).. or it could very well be because I'm too nice, but either way I got really upset. I feel security should have stopped the kid, took him to the back, roughed him up a little bit, scared him, let the hostess get a good hit in (and in Christa's perfect world, security would TALK to him) then let him go about his day. Sometimes people need to be called on on their shit. Embarrassed. Questioned. Screamed at. They need to sweat.. have some fear evoked upon them.
I've always been able to think long term about certain things. I don't know how much damage a "grabbing a girls ass" (for lack of official terminology) charge can cause, but it only takes ONE mistake, one charge to mess up a lifetime. Jail could possibly teach this kid a lesson.. It would be a consequence to his action.. but Jail is so... expected. Can you call that a solution? True, every action has a reaction. Had they acted out my vision, it could have turned into an even worse siuation.. so Im not saying my solution is the greatest either.. I don't really even know what I'm saying. I just wish more people tried to genuinely HELP a situation, HELP solve problems, HELP fix whats wrong in this world. This kid most likely wasn't raised the best and clearly needs HELP. To me Jail isn't that answer. I just hope the kid DID learn his lesson.
Do you remember that one teacher/mentor/family friend/stranger who took the time to talk to you/put you in check/correct you/lecture you/yell at you? I think everyone has that moment. No matter how rebellious/cool you thought you were, there is SOMETHING that someone did or said that you remember to this day, and it changed your life.
Today at work something happened that really bothered me. I've been told I'm too nice too caring too soft etc my whole life so naturally I tried to help the situation, but I wasn't much help. A young kid walking by my job with a few friends grabbed one of the hostesses ass. She told the closest security guard. The group of guys were walking away and mixed in a crowd of people so the security flashed his light across the street at a group of officers. The hostess walked to catch up with the guys and pointed out which one it was. The police grabbed him, walked him across the street to where their cars were and eventually handcuffed him. I was confused. I asked "wait, he's going to jail?" I was told yes. I know how violating it can feel to have someone grab your ass and I completely agree that he is wrong, but JAIL ? I don't know if I feel so strongly about this because half of my family is incarcerated... or maybe because he's young kid (prob 19-22).. or it could very well be because I'm too nice, but either way I got really upset. I feel security should have stopped the kid, took him to the back, roughed him up a little bit, scared him, let the hostess get a good hit in (and in Christa's perfect world, security would TALK to him) then let him go about his day. Sometimes people need to be called on on their shit. Embarrassed. Questioned. Screamed at. They need to sweat.. have some fear evoked upon them.
I've always been able to think long term about certain things. I don't know how much damage a "grabbing a girls ass" (for lack of official terminology) charge can cause, but it only takes ONE mistake, one charge to mess up a lifetime. Jail could possibly teach this kid a lesson.. It would be a consequence to his action.. but Jail is so... expected. Can you call that a solution? True, every action has a reaction. Had they acted out my vision, it could have turned into an even worse siuation.. so Im not saying my solution is the greatest either.. I don't really even know what I'm saying. I just wish more people tried to genuinely HELP a situation, HELP solve problems, HELP fix whats wrong in this world. This kid most likely wasn't raised the best and clearly needs HELP. To me Jail isn't that answer. I just hope the kid DID learn his lesson.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
A best friends love..
People say I am horrible at keeping in touch. I agree, but I never lose or replace a real friends place in my heart. My longest best friend, Kristie, whom I met at summer camp when we were 5 years old wrote this message on my fb wall this morning.
"I know you're a busy star and everything these days but I do recall a promise that was made in like 5th grade on the swing set out back that we would always be best friends! Nooo matter what! So you need to start answering my phone calls before I drive up to MIA and beat that little fuzzy head of yours :) thanks :) love you bestfriend! And... CALL ME"
So cute. Made my day and kind of made me open my eyes. I need to start making time for those close to me. With almost 20 years of friendship, that small paragraph has more inside jokes and meaning than the outsiders could ever understand!
"I know you're a busy star and everything these days but I do recall a promise that was made in like 5th grade on the swing set out back that we would always be best friends! Nooo matter what! So you need to start answering my phone calls before I drive up to MIA and beat that little fuzzy head of yours :) thanks :) love you bestfriend! And... CALL ME"
So cute. Made my day and kind of made me open my eyes. I need to start making time for those close to me. With almost 20 years of friendship, that small paragraph has more inside jokes and meaning than the outsiders could ever understand!
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