Beautiful Disaster.

I will admit that my views on LOVE are a bit corrupt. After my first relationship I found it tough to allow myself to be that vulnerable again. I'm the type who will expect almost nothing as a defense mechanism.. so that I won't end up disappointed. I never thought I was opposed to it, but I guess didn't necessarily welcome it with open arms either. In my eyes, I felt nothing lasts forever, people will always fall out of love, humans aren't made to be monogamous therefore, they're NOT (stay tuned for an entire blog about that) and there isn't a single thing GOOD about saying GOODBYE. I'm at a point in my life where I'm trying to figure out my future, chase dreams and meet my own goals, Live life, save money, invest money, pay off debt, maintain a steady balance on my feet. I'm trying to survive on my own, while also doing my best to help take care of my family. Adding a relationship into all that is not exactly realistic. I can't give 100 percent to one without slacking on the other. Plus there is a lack of potentials on south beach. So yeah. ANYWAYS I started writing this blog with an intention on telling a long story about a situation I was just in, but decided I don't want to do that anymore. So to wrap it up and make a long story short I will say that the big cement wall that was around my heart is not there anymore! Although that bitch should be back up and never ever let down again, I'm not going to do that. I learned a lot in a months time. I am heartbroken, but time heals all. The fact that my eyes and mind are now open makes it all worthwhile. For the first time in a while I took a chance and made decisions like an adult. I didn't run, I accepted it and went with the flow. Granted I still over analyzed a bit, because..well, that just what I do, lol. Was it scary? Very. Risky? Hell yeah. Painful? you have NO idea...but it was BEAUTIFUL. It was so pure, so raw, such innocent... emotion. (Guess there is a slight wall up since I still wont say the L word.) While I cant vouch for today, I CAN for those moments.. and during that time, there was no denying the energy. One of my twitter followers told me "Regret is a wasted emotion." I repeated it in my head several times. Wow. How true. So I have no regrets because what I got out of it is something I could only get from the experience. I felt something that I forgot even existed and met a few of the sweetest, funniest most beautiful spirited people who all left a permanent impression in my heart. The good and the bad are BOTH blessings.

"Im gonna smile because I deserve to. It'll all get better in time." ♥ Leona Lewis

Ft Myers

Last week I finally went home to Ft Myers to visit. Was my first time back since my sisters incident in November 2010. I saw some of my best friends and spent time with my nieces, grandma and mom. It felt good to be back, but it wasn't the same without my brother/sister/dad there. I was slightly depressed, but tried to make the best of it =) I went out Thursday night with my girls to help Mike (Dj Showtime) celebrate his birthday. I was gone.com.

Reunited with my Brother's Daughters Trinity & Kyndra!

Kyndra and I. She looks like me, huh?

Mommy ♥

Janellie and I being crazy on webcam =) 6 years strong

One of my best friends Tip and I ! 8 years strong

With Tip, Michelle and Tia. Michelle and I go back 10 years

Dj Quest !

Birthday Boy !

International Baby!

If you didn't know, I do more than Young Money videos ;) You can spot my face on televisions all over the world! These 2 videos were filmed earlier this year and are getting thousands of internet views, radio plays and lots of tv time in Paris, Cuba and other places around the globe!


Here I am in Cuban artist El Mola's "No Llamas mas" video




This is a silly, but fun video for French Group Collectif Métissé's "Laisse Tomber Tes Problèmes "

Planking.

Yup, I survived PLANKING. Some aren't so lucky. Planking has become an internet craze. It's a "laying down game" where you lie face down with your hands touching your sides in an unusual place. The point is to take a picture of it and post it on the internet. The more creative place you plank, the better! Unfortunately, some are going all out and risking their own safety in order to get the best plank. A 20 year old in Australia fell 7 stories to his death while attempting to plank on his balcony railing. I participated in the game and took several planking pictures. After busting my ass while attempting a drunk plank at King of Diamonds, I have officially retired. My advice to others..? Dont plank under the influence and DON"T risk your life for a stupid picture!

New Headshots !

So I finally got professional actors headshots. I shot with Lynn Parks. http://www.lynnparks.com/ It was such a fun shoot! Her and I worked together for the 2011 Mangos Tropical Cafe Calendar so when It came time for headshots I knew I wanted her to be the one to shoot them. There are so many mature sexy pictures of me out there, I went for at least one real young, innocent look. This is what we came up with! You like ?

H-TOWN PSA for Domestic Violence

I have to share this, since I can somewhat relate.

According to The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence http://www.ncadv.org/ One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.

Domestic Violence should NOT be tolerated. If you or someone you know is involved in an abusive relationship you can seek Anonymous and Confidential Help 24/7:
1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.3224 (TTY)

Listen to and share this song by my friends of R&B group H-TOWN.

1



"You're hoping that change would come, you're picturing a brighter day, you love him with all your heart, but your mind begins to change..."

Kodak Pitbull commercial

Earlier in 2010 I was apart of a Kodak commercial featuring Pit Bull. It was my very first SAG job, so I was excited =) You can't see me in the actual commercial, but I just saw this video of the behind the scenes with DJ Laz and thought it was cool!