Question.
What is a waste of time? Is it logical to think that something in the present is a waste of time just because the future doesn't seem bright or may not work in your favor? Is it still considered wasting time if the present moments that you are potentially wasting time with are some of the best moments of your life? What matters more, The exact moment or the future? How do you stop over analyzing when there's always something to analyze?
♥ Christa Elise Graziano
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Careless in the Club
Saw something interesting tonight at work. I was working in the Voodou Room (hip hop club) inside Mangos. There was this group of 5 people. They def weren't from the US. Polish or something. I dunno. But in the middle of the club (hip hop crowd) they were dancing wildly off beat. Jumping and gyrating and spinning, all while playing with this imaginary basketball. Yes, in the middle of the club. A basketball. Well, I think. I couldn't see it of course, but they were dribbling it and shooting it and spinning it on their fingers. Passing it back and forth. All things you'd do with a basketball. Waka Flocka is in the background screaming bout going hard in the mutha fuckin paint and these 5 friends are in La La land having the time of their lives. They didn't have a single care in thee world. People were staring and laughing, but it didn't phase them. They never once stepped out of their world or snapped out of character. Then again, they weren't acting. They were living.
This went on for AT LEAST an hour. The same game. Passing the ball from person to person. Whoever caught it performed some neat trick or some funky dance move and then found an interesting way to pass it to the next person. Part of me wondered if they were on some sort of drug that causes hallucinations. What did they see? From the outside looking in they looked crazy, but the way they were so deep in their zone I think they really weren't there. Like they were THERE, but not THERE.. you get me?
I stared at them for a long time and was fascinated. I even tried to jump in their circle and catch the ball. They never passed it to me though. They didn't even acknowledge me. I honestly don't think they SAW me. They were that DEEP into their world. Anyways, it really made me think. How many of us have moments as carefree as they were having? How many of us let loose and break free? Free from awareness, free from judgement (of self and others)? Oblivious to our surroundings and who's watching or what they are thinking. How many of us actually live wholeheartedly in the moment? How many of us can genuinely say we do what makes US happy, regardless of anyone else's influence/scrutiny? Def gives us all something to think about. People laughed, but I was impressed. They were in a place I hope to one day be.
♥ Christa Elise Graziano
This went on for AT LEAST an hour. The same game. Passing the ball from person to person. Whoever caught it performed some neat trick or some funky dance move and then found an interesting way to pass it to the next person. Part of me wondered if they were on some sort of drug that causes hallucinations. What did they see? From the outside looking in they looked crazy, but the way they were so deep in their zone I think they really weren't there. Like they were THERE, but not THERE.. you get me?
I stared at them for a long time and was fascinated. I even tried to jump in their circle and catch the ball. They never passed it to me though. They didn't even acknowledge me. I honestly don't think they SAW me. They were that DEEP into their world. Anyways, it really made me think. How many of us have moments as carefree as they were having? How many of us let loose and break free? Free from awareness, free from judgement (of self and others)? Oblivious to our surroundings and who's watching or what they are thinking. How many of us actually live wholeheartedly in the moment? How many of us can genuinely say we do what makes US happy, regardless of anyone else's influence/scrutiny? Def gives us all something to think about. People laughed, but I was impressed. They were in a place I hope to one day be.
♥ Christa Elise Graziano
Monday, November 7, 2011
Stable yet Stationary
I woke up this morning determined to be productive. I was literally chanting (in my head) "I CAN SLEEP WHEN I'M DEAD, I CAN SLEEP WHEN I'M DEAD." I must have died.. twice... because I fell back asleep two more times before I finally (officially) woke up.
I'm at this strange point in my life. I'm on my own, I'm alone and I have not a clue as to where I want to end up. My attention span is at an all time low. I feel like I don't even know what I like anymore. One day I love something, the next day I'm disgusted. Since I've moved to Miami I've been trying to come up with a plan. All I need is a few short term goals that pave a path towards a long term goal. Sounds easy, right ? Not for me.
I've become more antisocial than ever. I rarely leave my house unless I'm going to work. I will hardly ever pick up my phone. My moods are soo up and down.. Lately the lows last longer. I'm super quiet and isolated. Its texting, tweeting, youtube and reading. Not all bad, but all the time? My to do list seems soo tough to tackle..I must get out of this hole !
On the Contrary, I'm pretty stable right now.. Maybe not mentally, but financially I guess. This is the longest I've been at one job. I pay my own bills. I don't ask anybody for shit other than advice or some motivation. I'm paying off school debt (I plan to go back soon, I think), Help my family out the best I can, I'm paying off old credit cards, old debt from old banks that's in collections.. Just fixing my past careless mistakes. I'm not doing BAD, I just feel like I'm under achieving. Reason being, I don't have a PLAN. Just wish my mind would fixate on something.. even half of something.
As low as I feel these days I know its just a means of preparation and planning for what is soon to come. Both mentally and physically. I've always been an over acheiver, Its only a matter of time before a light bulb goes off in my head and I can attack the idea full force.
Blahhh..
♥ Christa Elise Graziano
I'm at this strange point in my life. I'm on my own, I'm alone and I have not a clue as to where I want to end up. My attention span is at an all time low. I feel like I don't even know what I like anymore. One day I love something, the next day I'm disgusted. Since I've moved to Miami I've been trying to come up with a plan. All I need is a few short term goals that pave a path towards a long term goal. Sounds easy, right ? Not for me.
I've become more antisocial than ever. I rarely leave my house unless I'm going to work. I will hardly ever pick up my phone. My moods are soo up and down.. Lately the lows last longer. I'm super quiet and isolated. Its texting, tweeting, youtube and reading. Not all bad, but all the time? My to do list seems soo tough to tackle..I must get out of this hole !
On the Contrary, I'm pretty stable right now.. Maybe not mentally, but financially I guess. This is the longest I've been at one job. I pay my own bills. I don't ask anybody for shit other than advice or some motivation. I'm paying off school debt (I plan to go back soon, I think), Help my family out the best I can, I'm paying off old credit cards, old debt from old banks that's in collections.. Just fixing my past careless mistakes. I'm not doing BAD, I just feel like I'm under achieving. Reason being, I don't have a PLAN. Just wish my mind would fixate on something.. even half of something.
As low as I feel these days I know its just a means of preparation and planning for what is soon to come. Both mentally and physically. I've always been an over acheiver, Its only a matter of time before a light bulb goes off in my head and I can attack the idea full force.
Blahhh..
♥ Christa Elise Graziano
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
